Why men cannot load dishwashers.

If your man has a workshop or office I dare bet it is meticulously organised , everything labelled and packed neatly so things can easily be located when that situation arises which calls for his speedy intervention . His video games and DVD’s are probably organised and may even be in alphabetical order. This is a male trait going as far back to caveman times where the neanderthals were known to be organised and purposeful when it came to their personal domestic space.

Men are also resourceful creatures and can survive on a desert island through the ability to adapt everyday objects into multi functional appliances it’s a survival skill. Bear Grylls is a prime example of this.


Opppps sorry wrong Bear.


That’s better.

Eleven of the twelve top architects of the world were men. These eleven men changed the world we live in through innovation and dedication.

My husband is a builder , a good builder at that . He uses his talents and design skills to help customers achieve their construction driven dreams.

Aren’t men just fantastic……

However this marvellous man of mine along with many others struggles with one simple task….. he cannot load the dishwasher. By cannot I don’t mean that he refuses , what I mean is that he quite simply lacks the skills to correctly arrange dirty kitchen utensils in such a manner to ensure successful cleaning. Quite simply he just slings them in no strategy , no order , he just dumps and walks away job done . An hour later when you go to unload 95% of the pots are still dirty , when challenged the reply will simply be ” Well I don’t know how to do it , you are so much better at this sort of stuff than me ? ” Of course when invited to attend a masterclass of this fine art this is of course declined.

How can one person be so resourceful , organised and historically capable yet fail to master this one simple task.

The answer is very simple . They can do it , they just don’t want to and by pretending that they can’t and carrying out a terrible attempt at it, they eliminate themselves from ever carrying out this task again.And what’s more by awarding you praise , you now feel like this is a skill…. a valuable skill that the family cannot do without. If you stop plates will never be clean again , your whole family will contract Clostridium difficile and you will be responsible for it’s demise. He has you in his power . In other words he is one machiavellian mofo and this is one of his manoeuvres .This artful breed have learnt a new survival skill over the years one that comes into play when the task ahead is one that they would prefer to be exempt from.

This manoeuvre also comes into play when loading the washing machine , you may occasionally get a small instance of gender heroism when he takes the washing off the line for you, but probably because it’s getting in the way of his golf swing but other than that he is mostly going to play the modern day habituating survival game.

A game which is as useless as their nipples because what they don’t realise is that over the last few years the female IQ has risen to above that of man. Of course we will continue to let the males think they rule the world and whilst they continue to find new ways of outsmarting us , we are busy scheming how to get those new shoes and bags past them and into the wardrobe….” What this dear ? New ? Don’t be silly I have had it for years ” ……..

Come to think of it maybe we aren’t that different after all.

And for those of you unsure here is how to load a dishwasher !!

PS I tried to find an image of Bear Grylls loading a dishwasher and I couldn’t . I rest my case.



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