How To Survive The Christmas Break Up.

Christmas is a funny old time of the year and with every picture perfect family brought together by the season of good will, there will be others where the infamous Last Christmas by Wham will become a stark reality .Too painful to listen to, the opening bars of this 80’s classic will send the affected ones rushing out of lifts, shops and supermarkets like an emotional dust devil.

Sadly some people use Christmas as an opportunity to do some emotional housekeeping. Plans are forged to start the New Year with a refreshed perspective. They may have procrastinated about this for some time but lacked the courage to execute anything.

So what better time to handle a difficult life changing decision than during an alcohol fuelled argument at Christmas? And what started out as a heated exchange about who ate all the green triangle Quality Streets ( I love those bad boys ) or who put the bins out last , soon escalates to you being left with no bin bags as your now ex loads them into the back of the car stuffed with their belongings. Leaving you sitting there speechless with the words “I don’t love you anymore “still ringing in your ears.

So what next?

Say hello to the “Self Pity Stage”, during this stage you will spend an excessive amount of time obsessing over your own troubles, after all you are the first person to be dumped at Christmas right? Wrong!!!! The quicker you pull yourself through this stage the better, unless you have been the PERFECT partner chances are you are partly responsible for this relationship breakdown. Believing that you are the victim will only give you a quick fix of inner peace but then slowly destroy you as it separates you further from reality. Before you know it you develop an inferiority complex.

Gain acceptance, take responsibility for your own happiness which brings me onto stage two…..

Welcome to the “ Retribution Stage “ , you made it through stage one and are now so determined to take control of your life any thoughts about your ex are now centred around revenge. You have probably even got as far as imagining yourself eradicating the world of this vermin using a quick bash around the head with a frozen leg of lamb after disposing of his body you will then invite friends and family around for a festive roast where you and your nearest and dearest will consume the murder weapon as he lies rotting In your freezer ready for Easter.

You may however decide on less drastic action. Starting the New Year detained at Her Majesty’s Pleasure is after all not the smartest move, you are too pretty for jail for one thing and who will feed those ten cats you surrounded yourself with during stage one whilst you are trying to navigate cell block H . Killing him is no longer an option so your mind wanders to thoughts of revenge, STOP! Chances are if they dumped you over Christmas a few scratches on the car will do nothing to waiver this person with a dark soul. The best form of revenge is to move on, and keep moving, move yourself straight into the final stage.

You may now enter the “Release Stage “this is where you let go. You are now free, no longer tied to another person you are free to rediscover yourself .People change and as we get older our needs, ambitions, hopes and desires change with us. One day you will look back on your life and say to yourself.

“It all makes perfect sense now “.

I hope this never happens to any of you this Christmas but if it does pause and then thank them for giving you the greatest Christmas present ever.

The gift of opportunity.

XOXO AJ

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