Okay ladies so summertime has officially arrived here in the UK and this week is going to be a scorcher. By now you should have attended to those parts of the body which needed a bit of TLC before exposure to the general public.
Your skin is as smooth as a baby’s bottom your feet are perfectly pedicured and those hours in the gym have started to pay off. Great what could possibly go wrong now , what on earth could prevent you from maintaining that reputation as The Goddess of Summer.
Dress appropriate for your age and size.
Squeezing yourself into a bikini meant for a toddler will do only one thing , it will turn you into a tourist attraction and you will find yourself on the internet like this lady did . And likewise squeezing your neumatic breasts into an outfit cobbled together with the remnants off the floor at London fashion week will leave you looking as bonkers as Brittany Spears during her 2007 meltdown.
Avoid unsightly sunburn.
Yes not only will it do unrepairable damage to your skin and could even lead to Melanoma ,like this picture you will look a total arse.
Apply a good sunscreen before you head out , invest in a fake tan that will feed that desire to be golden and allow you to tan sensibly. Not only will it last longer but you could save your life and live longer.
Have some summertime manners…
Under no circumstances should you continue to wear your sunglasses once inside or at night . You are not that famous nor are you blind stop that right there ! No further explanation required.
Wear the correct underwear.
Make sure you wear the correct bra for the dress / top you are wearing . Nobody wants to see more strap marks in one outfit than Christian Gray has dished out in his lifetime . There are many multi way bras on the market, so even if your dress looks like spaghetti junction at the back your bra doesnt have to.
And if you want to leave the bra at home, for the love of god please make sure that the lotties are still pert enough to look good and not hanging low. Remember the joke ” What did one saggy boob say to the other”? “You better perk up or they will think we are nuts ” !! Enough said.
And one last thing Fake Tan.
If you are going to fake it the the rule is simple. Less is more !!! A light golden tan will turn heads , a bright orange glow will turn you into a walking carrot.
So hopefully now you know the basic rules you can avoid the summer faux pas.
And now for some summertime tunes…