Fathers Day without a Father

Fathers Day , the day we get to tell that special man in our life how much they mean to us ??????

Nope that should be everyday we don’t need a special day for this so shame on you if you do.

Today marks the 13 year anniversary since my dad passed away and you may be surprised to hear that I am not sad. Of course I have a heart retching desire to be able to take him out to lunch and spoil him rotten , but it isn’t going to happen so why think about it. No today I will remember what a top bloke he was and be grateful for the 30 years I got to learn from this great man.

So let’s look at the other different Fathers Day scenarios.

You never knew your dad ….. This has to the toughest , I should imagine those that have never met their father may have filled their heads with images of what he looks like , what he does and believe that one day he will come and find you and the moment upon which you can present him with his rather large backlog of fathers days gifts. Hold onto that thought if you believe that your father is an all time hero then that is what he is, and if you meet him and he isn’t then show him how you be one.

You and your dad don’t see eye to eye…… Common in men , probably because you are either to similar or he can’t accept what you have become if it has strayed away from his ideals for you. Two much testosterone and a father with strict house/life rules can lead to distance. So fathers day will come and go without any real meaning. It won’t last though because as you age so will your father and before you know it he is as vulnerable as you was as a child/teenager and you will look at him the same way he did you as a child.

Your father turned out to be a wrong un…….. This must suck , but hey parenting is hard and some people are just not cut out to put somebody else before themselves for the rest of their life. Fathers day for you will be a time when you celebrate the fact that you have a great mother.

Your first fathers day….. You may be a first time dad. So that first card saying Happy Fathers Day Daddy will be one of the proudest moments ever. Remember he or she will be looking up to you for the rest of their lives . So to ensure that you continue to celebrate this day for the rest of your life.Be generous with your love , time , wisdom and support.

Fathers day began in the early twentieth century to celebrate male parenting , and whilst it’s great to have a day to acknowledge men as fathers it’s just a day.The role a father plays shapes a child’s future and by doing so shapes the way that person becomes as a parent. So if your dad has passed celebrate the good times , if you and your dad don’t get on acknowledge the fact that parenting is tough and not everybody is great at it if you were kept fed safe and warm then hey at least he got the basics right . Above all else it’s just a day , one day with a special label .

Life is full of learning curves and if we had a day to celebrate all of them , then hell make me a card manufacturer because I would be set up for life. And boy would I sell great cards..

Congratulations on starting your period , you are now blessed with the fact you can be a moody bitch and have a genuine excuse for it.

Happy getting drunk for the first time day , now go clean that bathroom you loser.

So don’t cry , don’t long for what you don’t or can’t have.Look around you at what you do have and make the most of it.

I dedicate this blog to my father Peter Anderson who lost his brave battle against lung cancer 13 years ago today.I got to tell him how much I loved him before he went to sleep for the last time. For me that’s enough he knows , I know and that’s all that ever really matters.

XOXO AJ

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