10 Valentine Mistakes To Avoid .

As Valentines Day approaches we can all hide behind the old ” It’s just a money spinner for the card and flower shops ” excuse to warrant having spent a miserable February 14th , but deep down all of us ladies hope that our respective partners will make a romantic gesture on this day and we pray its a large one … keep it clean ladies !!!

Okay so in order for you not to get disappointed this Valentines Day here are 10 mistakes to avoid committing.

Number One.

Subtle does not work with men , if you want a fuss making you need to go one step away from writing it on a brick and smashing him in the face with it.

Number Two.

Be realistic in what you are expecting don’t ask for a weekend in Venice if his wages denote a weekend in Brighton , he will feel inadequate and won’t bother leaving you disappointed.Ask for things which are within his realm of giving.

Number Three.

Don’t cut your nose off to spite your face , by not mentioning it you are setting him up to fail. Come on he can hardly remember which day is recycling day and which is rubbish collection day. Frequent reminders accompanied by actions which remind him just how fabulous you are and how lucky he is to have you should see you getting lucky.

Number Four.

Now if he is clever he will try and lure you into a petty argument leading up to the event so that he has an excuse not to make a fuss. Don’t get lured into this no matter how low he stoops … save it until the 15th and then slap him sideways and drive the stems of the roses he got you Valentines Day straight into his eyeballs .

Number Five.

Educate, educate, educate ….. Slip into conversations that its not just the ladies that benefit from Valentines Day and that for every box they tick they themselves get rewarded in mostly the best way a man could receive affirmation .

Number Six

Don’t say “Oh I bet XXXX will buy XXXX the biggest bouquet of flowers agin this year and have them sent into work a day early so she can show off ” If you do this he will just think that you are trying to show off or get one over on your work colleagues, neither of which are particularly endearing traits

Number Seven.

Don’t overlook subliminal stimuli , conscious perception whatever you call it research shows it works. So ladies topical music in the background, flashes of hearts around the home quick short bursts of stimuli will work. And I don’t mean pan piped greatest love songs around your home via your sonos system or to redecorate the bedroom , kitchen and bathroom with heart themed attire. Keep it frequent quick and subtle.

Number Eight.

Forget you are actually single !!! You may have entered into a romance with that guy across the road in your head but realistically he isn’t going to knock on your door and whisk you away in his helicopter a la Christian ( slight woman abuser ) Grey when he doesn’t know you even exist.

Number Nine.

Forget your fella has a heart too , it’s a two way street and although you will reward him in other ways for his right doings , all blokes like to feel just as appreciated as us.

Number Ten.

Forget that all important young man in your life … your son whether he is 5 or 25 every young boy deserves to have an ego boost from a secret admirer on Valentines Day so don’t forget to send them an anonymous card as well .

And if you are single , remember its just another day and raise a glass to less washing and ironing, being able to be your own boss , never having to compromise , having full custody of the remote control and relish in having a full sea of fish remaining at your future disposal and have fun sharpening your hook.


Let’s get smoochy

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