So you go out this Christmas and you meet somebody new and guess what they want to see you again! Great news until you realise it has been so long since you dated that you have forgotten what do.
Panic not I have 10 helpful tips to see you though those first few months of dating.
1) Hopefully you remember his or her name; after all you may have been drunk. If you don’t this is where the fun starts you now have to find it out their name without actually asking. Personally I would use the old “the more I look at you the more I think I have seen you before, what’s your full name “Bingo job done no need to thank me.
2) If you are going out for a meal always offer to split the bill, they may say no but you should at least ask. Until you have been dating a while it’s the right thing to do nobody likes a potential freeloader.
3) However tempted you may be to get your chimney swept after all of those months/ years do NOT ignite the flames of passion and go any further than a goodnight kiss. If they like you they will wait until the 3 date rule has passed until bumping uglies. If they fail to call again then you have just saved yourself from dating a complete jerk.
4) Leave your baggage in the past; ex talk is a HUGE no and if he or she spends all night talking about them they clearly aren’t over them so proceed with caution.
5) Go out and stock up on Windeeze it is not okay to pass wind in front of your new squeeze for quite some time yet. So get use to controlling your gases, if he or she has a dog or toddler then as long as they are silent runners you may be able to get away with letting one go and blaming the dog or child. This is a risk associated with this of course so you really do have to be sure your sound system stays muted. If not you may have to face the flack when your bottom generates a sound loud enough to break the sound barrier and sets the dog off barking. Following this with “A bit more choke and she’d of started “will not diffuse the situation either.
6) Do not crack onto his better looking best mate or sibling chances are the poor bugger has lived in their shadow anyway so make him or her feel special over them and you will win both of them over too. The best friend / sibling needs to like you.
7) Leave the introduction to friends and family until the relationship is going steady, being introduced at an early stage to Uncle Nobby as he cracks inappropriate jokes about you not having had a partner for many months/ years due to your Fatal Attraction like qualities will send them running for the hills before you can say boiled rabbit.
8) Try and schedule different kinds of dates , do some fun outside stuff two before you invest your heart and time into somebody you need to make sure you have common interests. There needs to be more than that love of vodka that brought you together in the first place to sustain things.
9) Don’t lie about anything past or present you are laying dodgy foundations to build a relationship on , you will get found out further down the line and look a complete twat when they bring their badly mutilated cat to you and you have to fess up that you are actually not a vet but a butcher.
10) Be nice and if after a few dates you feel it isn’t working let them down gently and tell them why , have integrity and you may just come out of it with a friend .
Extra Kudos if you found the hidden extra tip.